Reality Unseen

Poster for Inception

I saw Inception yesterday. I loved it, the movie was exciting, action-packed and I dug the basic concept of the movie. I am not going to put any spoilers in this post so no need to worry. There may be many out there who have not seen the movie yet and I won’t tarnish your experience as so many bloggers seem to wanna do, dunces in the blogesphere.  I highly recommend Inception, it is long but the performances are wonderful, then again when you cast such great actors as Ken Wantanabe, Leo DiCaprio, Michael Caine, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lukas Haas, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy and Pete Postlethwaite you will have great performances.  Also, as so often happens, I found a new actor to enjoy, Tom Hardy , who plays Eames in Inception gives a lovely performance.  Look for Hardy as Max in the upcoming reboot of Mad Max.  Why George Miller has decided we need a new Mad Max movie I have no idea, perhaps his taxman knows but I am sure that Mr. Hardy will give a fantastic performance.   He also played Handsome Bob in another of my favorite movies, RocknRolla and apparently he was in Layercake, a movie many people I know seem to enjoy.  I couldn’t get past the first 20 minutes, total snoozefest.

Going back to RocknRolla for a minute, I love Guy Ritchie’s movies.  The first one I saw was Snatch, easily the funniest, edgiest movie that year.  I saw

Sherlock Holmes

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels later which was good, Snatch was better.  I admit I skipped the next two movies that had Madonna in them.  Her talent doesn’t translate on the big screen, music videos she’s great in.  Guess it’s that acting and chewing gum at the same time that screws her up.  But then her true talent lies in self promotion.  Anyhow, Guy’s movies are great and if you haven’t seen Sherlock Holmes, please check it out.  Robert Downey Jr. gives a masterful performance as Holmes.

Now back to Layercake, oops I fell asleep already, ok, I’m awake.  Layercake, stars Daniel Craig, who is the subject of my next set of digressions.  Bond, James Bond, what a mess has been made of my favorite spy’s franchise.  Initially, I thought Daniel Craig would do a fine job, as the Bond series was rebooted after Pierce Brosnan’s politically correct Bond was lukewarmly received at the box office.  History has shown us that you must have the right man portray James Bond in order for this to work.  Sexy, charming, very masculine – Sean Connery, devilish, debonair, witty – Roger Moore, dangerous, agile, versatile- Pierce Brosnan these are the attributes a successful James Bond must have.  Does the actor have to have them all, of course not.  But Bond must be sexy, Daniel Craig is not.  Yes, he buffed up but Bond doesn’t have to have a six pack, he needs animal magnetism, that man you can’t take your eyes off of.  As one song says, “make you write bad checks”– Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, even Roger Moore who was never my cup of chai, had it.  There have been six actors to play Bond.  Can you name them all?  I’ve named four.

Bond with a gun

The stories have been getting weaker.  I read Casino Royale, it was an entertaining read.  The changes made to the story were fine.  As the reintroduction of Bond to a new audience, read younger audience, it was fine .  I enjoyed it but I couldn’t accept that Craig’s Bond was smart enough to do some of the things he did.  No, Craig doesn’t look smart, another characteristic Bond must have.  He’s the spy, yeah.  When Pierce Brosnan was Bond the stories weren’t very good.  Particularly, The World is Not Enough.  What a waste of film.  Long, boring movies.  The best stories, where Bond got into all manner of hairy situations and you wondered how he’d get out, with or without Q’s gadgets were done during Connery and Moore’s reigns.  Probably because those movies were based on Ian Fleming’s novels and all of the stories after are based on newer stories. Ian Fleming Bond novels written from 1953 to 1966 are:

Casino Royale,Live and Let Die, Moonraker, Diamonds Are Forever, From Russia, with Love, Dr. No, Goldfinger, For Your Eyes Only – short stories, Thunderball, The Spy Who Loved Me, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, You Only Live Twice ( another really good book), The Man with the Golden Gun, Octopussy and The Living Daylights.

Bottom line, this is what needs to happen if new Bond movies are to be successful.

1. Find someone who can write a smart, interesting, entertaining spy script and someone who can direct said script without making it long and boring.

2. Recast Bond.  Find a newcomer that can grow in the role over time.  A masculine man, physically agile, sexy and intelligent and young enough to age in the series, late 20s to early 30s.

3. Bring back Q. We need Q, Bond needs Q’s gadgets.  In the tech age we live in it’s unbelievable that Bond wouldn’t have toys, guys that work at McDonald’s have more gadgets than Daniel Craig as Bond.  No disrespect to any Micky D’s employees.

4. Change or recast M.  Give M back balls,  she or he shouldn’t act like Bond’s Mum as M has been written in the last few movies.  Anyone who’s had a woman boss knows modern women are always much tougher on their employees than their male counterparts, fact.  A female M would be more like Maggie Thatcher, Hilary Clinton, or Jane Tennison- the lead character in Prime Suspect, tough, unapologetic and determined to get the job done.  The maternal element is crap and the writers should be checked on it.

5. Keep it British.  Bond is a British secret agent we Americans like that about him.  Get a British act to do the themes for a while.  I think the music scene in Britain is more interesting right now.  In America we are in a rap haze, there’s a huge lack of originality and basic talent in American music at the moment.  I know there are more talented people out there but they can’t make it to the show or they won’t play the game either way that’s the situation with some exceptions.  The theme for Quantum of Solace was nauseating.  Why not use a young British act, like say, Muse.  The first time I heard Muse a friend played them for me.  After I picked my tongue off the floor and spit out the dust by saying “wow” I said that should have been the theme to a James Bond movie.  Muse is young and hip enough for the Twilight soundtracks surely there is room for that heavy, orchestral sound in a Bond movie.  The QoS theme was just loud, nails on a chalkboard aggravating.  Bring in some of what’s going on in England now culturally since you’ve rebooted it.  The rest of the world can deal with it.

Ta luvs!